What Being and Advocate Means
As parents you advocate for your children from the moment they become the center of your world, it is part of the job description! You have absolute authority because no-one knows your children like you do.
Before you even became a parent advocate you were pretty accomplished self-advocates: used to figuring out what you need and making it happen, with varying rates of success of course. So if self-advocacy is a daily routine for us and advocacy for our children is a natural part of parenting, how can we use the same skills to navigate the somewhat unfamiliar territory of special education?
Truly no-one knows your child like you do, so find a clear, concise, and positive way to describe your child to her teachers. Never dismiss or ignore anything teachers say about your child. Treat the information as neutrally as you can and figure out how to use it to learn more about your child and her needs. Try to integrate all the information you receive to create a whole picture of your child.
Don’t spend time and energy disputing other people’s perspectives even if you think they are wrong. Remember, the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) already contains your positive perspective on your child.
If information sounds very negative, ask the person to reword their thoughts in a positive way. If it conflicts with your picture of your child, remember that her behavior is a product of her environment and the relationships she has with the people she shares it with, try to change her environment and strengthen the relationships she has with others. It’s OK to have goals for your children and to expect other people to get excited about them also. If your goal is for your child to have a best friend at school or to learn to read, why would her teacher not want this too? Share your goals and ideas and invite teachers to share theirs also.
If you want to see your child achieve her goals, you have to be absolutely clear with yourself, and others, about what success will look like and what you are prepared to do to support your child in achieving the goal.
Focus only on the goal. The truth is that energy flows where the mind goes. Some healing may occur once your child starts to make progress towards the goal. Success feeds off success and pain feeds off pain, so choose success.
Never doubt your goal is achievable. If you feel discouraged hold onto the goal and decide if you need to take a different road to achieve it.
Make requests of people, and avoid making demands. Ask if people are willing to help you explore and idea or try something new. I find that people are more enthusiastic about pursuing their own goals and ideas than those that are imposed upon them.
Focus on relationships.
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Tags: Advocacy, advocate, Education, idea for dummies special education, IDEA special education for dummies, special ed advocacy for dummies, special education
